What if?

What if?

What if your life could feel totally different?
What if you could go through your day without having to work hard? 
What if there was ease? 
What if other people's choices and words didn't hold you down or cause you stress?
What if you could sit back and observe?
What if there were miracles all along your path?
What if you could see and catch yourself in negative patterns before they swept you away?
What if you could reprogram yourself?
What if you could really be whatever you want to be?
What if you weren't confined by the should's?
What if there was nothing that you HAD to do?
What if you could let go and surrender without being irresponsible?
What if you could operate from joy and peace?
What if that was the norm?
What if you could desire more from life than just to be happy?
What if you could really make money pursuing your passions?
What if your desires weren't things that you didn't have time for?
What if you could celebrate exploring the things that excited you?
What if you could be grateful for challenges?
What if other people couldn't steal your energy?
What if you could live without guilt?
What if you could have inner peace?
What if being true to yourself didn't mean you were being a selfish asshole?
What if....

All of these are possible. I know this because I have traveled from one side of this spectrum to the other, because I have experienced them. The answer to each of these questions is.. YOU CAN! It is possible! It is not only possible but it is the path to your highest joy and your greatest fulfillment!

I wouldn't have believed it possible even a year ago. I craved these things. I knew in my core that I was meant for so much more. I was disappointed and hard on myself for not fulfilling my potential.

You don't have to wait for anything to start making a transformation.
You don't have to hit rock bottom.

That new car, or new place, or new job, or new partner, or new pair of shoes does not in itself hold the feelings you crave. You can strive all you want for material items, in the hopes that you will be happy when..... but somehow it always leaves you empty. Then that is depressing, and frustrating and you might even pretend like it really does make you happy. It might give you pleasure.. but it doesn't last. It wears off and you feel the need to acquire something else to achieve that desired feeling. When we are looking outside of ourselves for this... we always come up lacking.

I can't say that I've tried it all, but at it's core it's all the same search.

The process of shining a light on my inner self was scary. I was overwhelmed at the idea. It felt so much easier to just sweep whatever the presenting issue was under the rug, to pacify that surge that welled up inside yearning to be released.

I was afraid of what other people would think.
I didn't want to be judged.
Or looked down on.
Or to feel like I was less than anyone.
-- because I already felt this way about myself.

I was also afraid of what I was going to find. When I looked inward I would get this deep sense of fear that there was some big, dark, hairy scary monster lurking in the shadows of my souls somewhere. That by exploring I was really just going to let a monster loose. There's a good reason for all of those locked and buried rooms right? I built those walls to protect me!

I was very protective of them.
Not knowing what was on the other side was horrifying.
I want to know the full plan, all the steps. I want a checklist. I want expectations. I want to think on and analyze everything. This always raises feelings of anxiety, being overwhelmed. Feeling lost, not in control and hopeless. 

There is so much information out there. Everyone has something that they can promise will transform you. Three simple steps. This product. That service. Blueprints. Books. "Do it just like me!"

The really, real truth is that the only way is through your inner self. 
Having someone who can hold your hand in this process and support you is invaluable.
When a kind, loving, judgement free soul can help you with the flashlight...
The whole process is expedited.
I let my ego win and gave in to fear every time I attempted this on my own.
When I was ready a beautiful, wonderful teacher showed up in my life.

Her message of living in joy and ease spoke to my soul! I wanted what she had!
I was ready!

Having someone to hold my hand and show me the path.. having that support.. being brought together into a tribe was right on time, I leaned on her strength and belief in me to be able to feel it for myself. I trusted. Then the craziest thing happened... I transformed!

People have this idea that transformation is something that happens overnight and suddenly you are totally different. It doesn't happen that way. Deliberate, consistent action is how transformation happens. One step at a time. One day. One moment. One foot in front of the other.

Do you love yourself?
Do you want to?

I love nothing more than holding hands and supporting other souls on this journey. It is my greatest joy to share and give a strong, safe space for transformations.

I am here to support you.
If you feel this message, if it resonates with you, tingling, prickling inside.. If you want this...
Please know beyond any shadow of doubt or fear that is absolutely possible! There is no dream and no blessing that is too good for you! I believe that whole heartedly! I KNOW it to be true. I have never been more sure of anything in my life.

Please let me know if this resonated, reach out. Let's start a conversation. 

Compassion

How many excuses have you made for other people?

Maybe someone did something that hurt your feelings.. and you were like, "It's ok, they didn't mean it, they have a lot going on. etc."

I know I have done this a million times.. and a lot of the time it isn't as if they were trying to be hurtful. They really do have a lot going on, or it really didn't have anything to do with me.

I have been accused to being too nice, of allowing people to walk all over me and being too kind. I'm not sure that there is such a thing...

We've all heard it said a million times that everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about... and I get that... Always give others the benefit of the doubt! Be kind like crazy, it costs nothing. 

But do you do that for yourself? 

When you make a choice that might not have been the best one, do you beat yourself up about it and call yourself names? 

I used to be soooo good at it. I was brutal and ruthless with myself. There was no forgiveness. I would keep myself up at night going over it. I would go over every choice in the day that could have been better. There would end up being a lot at the end of the day. It was a horrible way to live!

I was depressed and always emotionally exhausted. It was hard to believe that I could do better because I spent so much time and energy focusing on everything that I was doing wrong. I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to do anything for fear that I would do it wrong. 

Can you relate?

There is a really simple practice that helped me make a tremendous shift! So thankful to my soul sisters for helping me to see that what I really needed was not to analyze the situation to death and get lost in all the details, but to give myself some compassion!

I am a worthy and worthwhile human being. I am an amazing creation. I have a unique spark and creativity that no one else will ever have, no one else can express themselves the way I do. No one else can shine my light for me. There is nothing that I need to do in order to be worthy of love, or compassion, or kindness. I already am. 

The same is true for you. It doesn't matter what you've done, or where you've been, where you are now, what you look like, how near or far or your goals are to reality. 

Take a few minutes and give yourself some love! Some compassion! Some kindness! You deserve it!

How does this phrase make you feel?

Do you believe it?

There was a time not too long ago when seeing this phrase would infuriate me. I felt confused, hopeless, lost.

"Well if it's really that simple then why am I so miserable?"

"If that's true then why do I feel like there is a black hole in my chest?"

"If that's true then why are there so many unhappy people in the world?"

"If that's true then why aren't things changing no matter how hard I work?"

"What do they have that I don't?"

"How did they get so lucky?"

"Must be nice to be born with a silver spoon!"

I couldn't figure it out for the life of me. People who said stuff like this pissed me off and I just shrugged it off and thought to myself how crazy they are, they live in a fantasy world. It isn't the real world where the rest of us live!

Ultimately, I was jealous. 

Of their peace, of their calm, of their knowing.

But I never stopped and asked questions. I never asked them why they believed it, or what evidence they have seen to believe in such a silly notion.

I wished I had what they had that allowed them to believe that such a thing was true.

If you're really, really, really honest with yourself.. how does this statement make you feel?

Does it give you joy and hope or does it piss you off like it once did for me?

I would love nothing more than to be able to have some honest conversations with people around this topic. If you would be willing to share (privately and confidentially) please send me a message and let's connect! You can also email me if you prefer!

Calm is a superpower

Today the keys got locked in our running vehicle. And I am celebrating!

I know that this sounds kind of ridiculous, but let me paint a picture for you..

You have to be at work in 30 minutes. You only live 15 minutes away but the whole city just got covered in almost a foot of fresh snow. (I stepped into my backyard that hadn’t been touched and it was taller than my boots, calf deep).

You woke up a little late and have 4 kids at home. The youngest two are both toddlers only 17 months apart. Your older children are 14 and 10. It was the 10 year old who started the vehicle for you so it could warm up before you had to drive downtown for work. The morning has been full. The house looks like a tornado and you are quickly adding all the ingredients for Chicken Enchilada soup into the crock pot for dinner.

Your son comes in to tell you that the keys are locked in the van, and it’s running. He says it was an accident and he’s so sorry. Your husband (who would normally handle this kind of situation) is out of town. It’s freezing cold and snowy outside. You have been watching vehicles getting stuck on the street all day.

How bad would you be freaking out if this was you?

You can’t call a locksmith without having to pay for it. You’ve used that reimbursement on your insurance too many times and they stopped providing it for you.

It was snow-maggedon yesterday. The kind of day and weather that makes people stay home unless they absolutely have to leave.

I thought about freaking out for about ½ a second. I didn’t. I stayed calm. I knew that everything would be ok and we would get into that vehicle.

I called my job and told them what was up. Thankfully my manager called me back a few minutes after my shift was scheduled to start and told me that I didn’t need to worry about coming in. Good luck getting into the vehicle.

My 14 year old found the last wire hanger in the whole dang house. I grabbed some shoelaces and a couple screw drivers and we went out into the blizzard.

She bent the hanger so it was straight with a hook at the end. I played with the screwdrivers enough to get a little opening so I could get the hanger inside. That hanger was so flimsy there was no hooking anything, or pushing any buttons with it.

There’s a trick that you can use a shoestring to loop around the kind of locks that I have in my old ass van and pull it up. I googled. I tied slip knots and I patiently worked away for an hour and a half.

During this process the thought popped in my head to message one of my friends that lived not to far away. I hit him up. He didn’t have the necessary tools.

I got the string into the door and almost on the lock! He stopped by to see if he could help. We used our team work and were able to get the vehicle open! Utilizing all the tools I had brought outside.

This process took two hours. By the time I went back inside my0 toes hurt they were so cold. But the vehicle was unlocked, turned off and the key was retrieved!

I am absolutely amazed at my calm! Old me would have had a melt down! I would have been so stressed that my head would have felt like it was going to pop off! Thinking of everything that could go wrong and the absolute worst case scenario. It would have definitely been the end of the world. Is that where you mind would go? Are you like me?

I would have been so frustrated! I would have still been plenty angry when I had finally gotten into the vehicle (I probably would have dumped that on my kid too). Who knows if I would have been ABLE to get into the vehicle when I was in that state of mind. Would I have had the idea out of nowhere to call my friend? Would I have had the patience to play with string, screwdrivers and a hanger for 2 hours? Would I have given up and just called a locksmith? Paid them at least $100 and possibly had the running vehicle run out of gas while I waited for them to make it to me in a blizzard? We’ll never know, but it doesn’t even seem like a stretch.

I am so proud to be able to celebrate such a miracle in my life! Seriously! I just went through that smooth and came out the other side feeling like celebrating. My blood pressure wasn’t raised. I kept a smile on my face.. And it wasn’t a forced, fake smile either. It was genuine.

I want this for you!!!!

Calm can be your super power too! You will have a moment in your future where you will be able to stop for a second and reflect on what just happened and say… “What?! I just went through all that nonsense and kept my peace? I kept my center? I kept my cool? Hell yeah!!”

Let's talk!! <-- click this link so we can connect and get your super powers unlocked too!