Have you ever found yourself caught in a loop?
I remember when I woke up and realized that I was right back in the same nightmare relationship... again... the person was different but at the core, it was the same.
Thankfully this time there was no physical abuse! I wasn't a person in this relationship, I was an object. I didn't love or value myself. I had the strength to leave but it was still years before I uncovered the root and was able to begin healing.
The lies we believe about ourselves can cripple us. We willingly self-destruct as we accept what we believe we deserve from others. We don't believe our loved ones when they tell us good things about ourselves, because we believe the lies.
The lies that we aren't worthy, or valuable.
The lie that there is something we have to do or someone else we have to become in order to be someone who deserves to be loved and respected.
I am here to tell you that it's bullshit!
There is nothing that you need to be and no one else that you need to be!
These patterns don't ever fully go away or heal until we address the root of the issue. The roots stem from our wounds, we are only instinctively trying to protect ourselves from more of that same pain.
I stopped allowing myself to be a victim in my relationships. I thought that my self-love problem was healed, but it wasn't. Not yet.
I still didn't believe that I was worthy of love.
Even when the universe brought me, my perfect mate, I didn't fully believe that I was worthy of the love he gave me. I felt like I needed to earn that love. I did everything I could to protect him and save him from any discomfort. To the point that it actually became a destructive force.
I didn't even realize that I was doing it. I was still ruled by fear. Fear that he would leave. Fear that I wasn't enough. Fear that I was going to drown under all the weight I had taken on. Fear that I would disappoint people. Fear that I wasn't good enough.
My self-love was dependent on my perceived ability to make sure that everyone around me was taken care of. I wasn't good enough if I wasn't able to make sure that everyone was happy.
What a ridiculous burden!
For me, it took partnering with a coach and having someone outside me who could help me see my blind spots to figure this out. When those blinders were removed it was like being hit by a bolt of lightning! Everything made so much more sense! I could look back and see the patterns through my past.
I had slowly climbed closer and closer to self-love but I was a LONG way from giving myself the love that would transform my life. True self-love is hard! It's messy! There are tears! There is joy! There is freedom! There is transformation!
I am forever grateful to my coach and mentor for helping me to remove those blinders. And teaching me how to trust myself, open my natural gifts and abilities. I am absolutely over-flowing! My heart is full! These ripple effects can be felt by everyone around me. When you love yourself, you are able to truly love others.
I have been called to take this knowledge, and my newly found gifts, my skills, abilities and life experiences and serve others. Being able to work with women who resonate with my story, and be a mirror for them so that they can set themselves free is the most powerful thing I have ever done.
It makes my soul sing! My mentorship is a sacred trust. I hold massive space for my clients as they dig deep and begin to truly heal and love themselves. The results and the impact that this work has on their lives from the first session let me know that I am absolutely where I need to be. It doesn't just transform their lives though... It transforms the lives of everyone they come into contact with. It transforms the lives of their children in a massive way, after all they learn the most from our example.
If you read all the way through this, if you resonate with these words... listen to your soul! Give yourself the love to reach out and connect. I only have space available for this deep individualized work for five more women.
Follow the link here to book a sample session and we can make sure we are a great fit!
