Judgement and What it Teaches

I think that judgement is one of the hardest things to let go of, it is for me. I still catch myself getting unconsciously sucked into this pattern. There's a trick to it.

When we are judging others we feel superior, entitled, intelligent, justified, and what have you. They did it wrong, or are wrong and if you had their choice to make, or if they had just listened, then catastrophe could have been avoided and everything would be perfect.

Too bad it doesn't work that way.

You have no idea what someone else has been through. It is so easy for us to see how someone else is wrong when you are looking at it from a completely different perspective. You probably don't have all the information, and you have no idea what it feels like to be them, even if you think you do. You might be able to imagine, you might be able to sympathize but it is truly impossible to know exactly.

I have made every excuse in the book as to why I have a right to judge. But the truth is, I don't. Neither do you. Does it ever actually bring about solutions? Does it bring good feelings into your life?

If it does I would venture a guess that they are short lived and shallow and that you end up feeling guilty if you are really honest with yourself.

Guilty for the judgement it self.

Then you give yourself a hard time and compound the situation because you are bringing even more negative feelings into your existence.

Why do we do that to ourselves? It's like it's compulsive.

We feel better about ourselves by needing to feel superior.

I remember watching a cartoon as a child where the moral of a skit was to sit next to someone bigger than you if you feel fat, boom, problem solved you feel better about yourself.

But do we really feel better? On any level that isn't superficial and short lived?

I never have from this type of thoughts and behaviors.

What if instead you looked at this person as a brother, or a sister, as they truly are. This person that you are judging came into this world as an innocent screaming little baby just like you did. They have the exact same spark of humanity and light in their eyes that you do. We are all made up of the exact same stuff on a chemical level. They have dreams and desires. When they were a kid they wanted to save the world and loved to play just like you.

What if you had lived their entire life, what if you had been in their shoes the whole time and didn't have the added perspective of the lessons that you have learned in life? What if they weren't raised with the same morals? What if they weren't raised with the same beliefs? What if their core values are completely different? What if something horrible and traumatic happened in their past and they've never told anyone? What if they are afraid to be authentic because judgement is what they really fear? What if they are just hurting? What if they are screaming and crying and lonely inside? What if they feel like no one understands them? What if they feel like no one would love them if they were fully honest about who they were and where they have been? What if they are really broken behind their facade of being perfectly polished?

You would like to believe that you would make different choices.. but if you were them.....

When we judge someone else, we are revealing something about ourselves.

Next time you catch yourself passing judgement, pause, take note and then let it go. Take a minute to look inside yourself in that moment and shine the flash light inward. What unhealed and hurting part of yourself just got triggered by that person?

You might be surprised what you find. You might be too scared to even look.

But I promise you, there is nothing lurking in your dark shadows that puts you beyond the scope of worthiness. You are stardust. You are magic. You are powerful. You are a spark of the divine. A reflection of limitless possibilities and opportunities.

I know first hand how much the ego rises up and rebels against this idea. It will do it's best to convince you that whatever is in the dark is too horrible to ever be brought to the light, but guess what? 

Your ego lies. Your false self doesn't want to be exposed, it doesn't want to loose it's power. That is what you are exposing. When we go through this process, we are empowering our true selves.

You are powerful beyond your imagination!

If you have any questions about this process? Or would like someone to help hold your hand and guide you through please let me know how I can be of assistance. It is my pleasure to serve. 

What if?

What if?

What if your life could feel totally different?
What if you could go through your day without having to work hard? 
What if there was ease? 
What if other people's choices and words didn't hold you down or cause you stress?
What if you could sit back and observe?
What if there were miracles all along your path?
What if you could see and catch yourself in negative patterns before they swept you away?
What if you could reprogram yourself?
What if you could really be whatever you want to be?
What if you weren't confined by the should's?
What if there was nothing that you HAD to do?
What if you could let go and surrender without being irresponsible?
What if you could operate from joy and peace?
What if that was the norm?
What if you could desire more from life than just to be happy?
What if you could really make money pursuing your passions?
What if your desires weren't things that you didn't have time for?
What if you could celebrate exploring the things that excited you?
What if you could be grateful for challenges?
What if other people couldn't steal your energy?
What if you could live without guilt?
What if you could have inner peace?
What if being true to yourself didn't mean you were being a selfish asshole?
What if....

All of these are possible. I know this because I have traveled from one side of this spectrum to the other, because I have experienced them. The answer to each of these questions is.. YOU CAN! It is possible! It is not only possible but it is the path to your highest joy and your greatest fulfillment!

I wouldn't have believed it possible even a year ago. I craved these things. I knew in my core that I was meant for so much more. I was disappointed and hard on myself for not fulfilling my potential.

You don't have to wait for anything to start making a transformation.
You don't have to hit rock bottom.

That new car, or new place, or new job, or new partner, or new pair of shoes does not in itself hold the feelings you crave. You can strive all you want for material items, in the hopes that you will be happy when..... but somehow it always leaves you empty. Then that is depressing, and frustrating and you might even pretend like it really does make you happy. It might give you pleasure.. but it doesn't last. It wears off and you feel the need to acquire something else to achieve that desired feeling. When we are looking outside of ourselves for this... we always come up lacking.

I can't say that I've tried it all, but at it's core it's all the same search.

The process of shining a light on my inner self was scary. I was overwhelmed at the idea. It felt so much easier to just sweep whatever the presenting issue was under the rug, to pacify that surge that welled up inside yearning to be released.

I was afraid of what other people would think.
I didn't want to be judged.
Or looked down on.
Or to feel like I was less than anyone.
-- because I already felt this way about myself.

I was also afraid of what I was going to find. When I looked inward I would get this deep sense of fear that there was some big, dark, hairy scary monster lurking in the shadows of my souls somewhere. That by exploring I was really just going to let a monster loose. There's a good reason for all of those locked and buried rooms right? I built those walls to protect me!

I was very protective of them.
Not knowing what was on the other side was horrifying.
I want to know the full plan, all the steps. I want a checklist. I want expectations. I want to think on and analyze everything. This always raises feelings of anxiety, being overwhelmed. Feeling lost, not in control and hopeless. 

There is so much information out there. Everyone has something that they can promise will transform you. Three simple steps. This product. That service. Blueprints. Books. "Do it just like me!"

The really, real truth is that the only way is through your inner self. 
Having someone who can hold your hand in this process and support you is invaluable.
When a kind, loving, judgement free soul can help you with the flashlight...
The whole process is expedited.
I let my ego win and gave in to fear every time I attempted this on my own.
When I was ready a beautiful, wonderful teacher showed up in my life.

Her message of living in joy and ease spoke to my soul! I wanted what she had!
I was ready!

Having someone to hold my hand and show me the path.. having that support.. being brought together into a tribe was right on time, I leaned on her strength and belief in me to be able to feel it for myself. I trusted. Then the craziest thing happened... I transformed!

People have this idea that transformation is something that happens overnight and suddenly you are totally different. It doesn't happen that way. Deliberate, consistent action is how transformation happens. One step at a time. One day. One moment. One foot in front of the other.

Do you love yourself?
Do you want to?

I love nothing more than holding hands and supporting other souls on this journey. It is my greatest joy to share and give a strong, safe space for transformations.

I am here to support you.
If you feel this message, if it resonates with you, tingling, prickling inside.. If you want this...
Please know beyond any shadow of doubt or fear that is absolutely possible! There is no dream and no blessing that is too good for you! I believe that whole heartedly! I KNOW it to be true. I have never been more sure of anything in my life.

Please let me know if this resonated, reach out. Let's start a conversation. 

Compassion

How many excuses have you made for other people?

Maybe someone did something that hurt your feelings.. and you were like, "It's ok, they didn't mean it, they have a lot going on. etc."

I know I have done this a million times.. and a lot of the time it isn't as if they were trying to be hurtful. They really do have a lot going on, or it really didn't have anything to do with me.

I have been accused to being too nice, of allowing people to walk all over me and being too kind. I'm not sure that there is such a thing...

We've all heard it said a million times that everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about... and I get that... Always give others the benefit of the doubt! Be kind like crazy, it costs nothing. 

But do you do that for yourself? 

When you make a choice that might not have been the best one, do you beat yourself up about it and call yourself names? 

I used to be soooo good at it. I was brutal and ruthless with myself. There was no forgiveness. I would keep myself up at night going over it. I would go over every choice in the day that could have been better. There would end up being a lot at the end of the day. It was a horrible way to live!

I was depressed and always emotionally exhausted. It was hard to believe that I could do better because I spent so much time and energy focusing on everything that I was doing wrong. I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to do anything for fear that I would do it wrong. 

Can you relate?

There is a really simple practice that helped me make a tremendous shift! So thankful to my soul sisters for helping me to see that what I really needed was not to analyze the situation to death and get lost in all the details, but to give myself some compassion!

I am a worthy and worthwhile human being. I am an amazing creation. I have a unique spark and creativity that no one else will ever have, no one else can express themselves the way I do. No one else can shine my light for me. There is nothing that I need to do in order to be worthy of love, or compassion, or kindness. I already am. 

The same is true for you. It doesn't matter what you've done, or where you've been, where you are now, what you look like, how near or far or your goals are to reality. 

Take a few minutes and give yourself some love! Some compassion! Some kindness! You deserve it!