Adventuring into the darkness

Don't get me wrong. I know the darkness is where all the old pain is hiding too. I know that your mind has come up with a million reasons and reactions not to go there. Most of it is probably largely reactionary... it's running on autopilot and you are just going through life wondering why it feels like it does.

If you feel like there has to be more to life than the reality you are experiencing.... it's because it's true!! Your soul is begging you to come back to yourself.

Most people will not heed that call. They will keep pushing while their soul screams for stillness. They will numb, repress, avoid, and attack. They will fight tooth and nail for the half ass existence everyone told them they needed.

The brave ones will answer the call. They will get to a point where they just can't keep going on the same way. The yearn to be the example of what is possible, and not someone who just settles.

Diving in and exploring the darkness is deep work, it's hard. You have all kinds of thoughts and beliefs that aren't true, holding you captive from living the life that feels great for your soul! Your mind will twist and project everything and it's confusing af to figure out.

This is why I do what I do. Because we aren't meant to do this alone. We are built for connection and community. I adventure into my shadows whenever they ask. I celebrate the triggers that come up. Seriously. Sometimes it's more painful than other times, but that indicates to me, the depth of healing that is available.

It doesn't feel good all the time. I have cried a whole lot over the last few weeks. But that's ok. I am not suffering pointlessly. I am using my support system, mentors and community to explore and make what is unknown known. I am healing at the deepest levels. I have the opportunity to uncover even more magick.

Every. Single. Time.

It's not always easy. I'm a perfectly imperfect messy human af soul doing the work that my soul yearns for.

I believe that joy, and peace are your birthright. I believe you were born with an wellspring with everything you need within you. You have just forgotten. You don't remember how to get back. You don't know how to access it.

I am leading souls back to themselves and assisting them on making themselves at home in their center, where everything they need is already waiting in abundance.

This is my souls work. You can love ALL of you. Not just the pretty and acceptable. You can embody the wholeness of who you are. Let's adventure.

I have two spaces for a 1x1 container opening in April. Four months of support, adventure and healing. Message me if this speaks to you. I know that there are souls who need to hear it, I know that you are ready, you are just waiting for the sign... this is it.

Put that shit down!

If you want to live where passion, purpose, joy and ease are your constant companion then you have to be willing to shed all the things.

One of the heaviest burdens I have grown accustomed to carrying is my responsibility for other people. If those closest to me aren't happy, or they are suffering, I am suffering too.

Can you relate?

As a mother, I think it's almost second nature sometimes. Your whole world is taking care of them and we want to give them the world. You would move mountains for them, you have, your love is fierce.

Giving them responsibility for their own happiness and their own choices is the strongest, fiercest, bravest demonstration of your love. For them, and for yourself. (Not just for your children... but for everyone in your life!)

Isn't it true that you are the only one responsible for your happiness?

It sounds so simple when I write it out like that. It is truly simple but simple does not mean easy. The truth is always simple. The action needed to demonstrate and honor the truth takes effort and intention.

Our egos have had the corner on this area of our thinking and behavior for a very long time. It will fight to keep its hold of its territory. It will throw everything it has at you to talk you out of it. It is going to tell you how much other people are to blame and what they aren't doing or should be doing. It will use any distraction it can find to keep you from going within.

How would it feel to be able to put those burdens down?

How would it feel to be happy and joyful regardless of how other people feel?

What would be possible for you if you loved yourself enough to do that thing? To stand up for yourself? To stop bending over backwards for others and never seeing others do the same for you?

When I started peeling away the layers and looking into my dark corners it was the scariest thing I had ever done. I remember. It was also the most powerful.

This is how I serve my clients.

This is how I would serve you.

I hold the space for you so we can safely turn on the light and look around. I help you point the light at the truth rather than the egos distractions. I use my innate gifts and cultivated skillset to help you dig deep and pull out the roots.

You build a new foundation and everything changes.

There are only a few spaces left in this 1x1 mentorship so if this message speaks to you please do yourself the honor of booking a call and let's explore what is possible for you.

The Universe will keep serving the same lesson until we figure it out

Have you ever found yourself caught in a loop?

I remember when I woke up and realized that I was right back in the same nightmare relationship... again... the person was different but at the core, it was the same.

Thankfully this time there was no physical abuse! I wasn't a person in this relationship, I was an object. I didn't love or value myself. I had the strength to leave but it was still years before I uncovered the root and was able to begin healing.

The lies we believe about ourselves can cripple us. We willingly self-destruct as we accept what we believe we deserve from others. We don't believe our loved ones when they tell us good things about ourselves, because we believe the lies.

The lies that we aren't worthy, or valuable.

The lie that there is something we have to do or someone else we have to become in order to be someone who deserves to be loved and respected.

I am here to tell you that it's bullshit!

There is nothing that you need to be and no one else that you need to be!

These patterns don't ever fully go away or heal until we address the root of the issue. The roots stem from our wounds, we are only instinctively trying to protect ourselves from more of that same pain.

I stopped allowing myself to be a victim in my relationships. I thought that my self-love problem was healed, but it wasn't. Not yet.

I still didn't believe that I was worthy of love.

Even when the universe brought me, my perfect mate, I didn't fully believe that I was worthy of the love he gave me. I felt like I needed to earn that love. I did everything I could to protect him and save him from any discomfort. To the point that it actually became a destructive force.

I didn't even realize that I was doing it. I was still ruled by fear. Fear that he would leave. Fear that I wasn't enough. Fear that I was going to drown under all the weight I had taken on. Fear that I would disappoint people. Fear that I wasn't good enough.

My self-love was dependent on my perceived ability to make sure that everyone around me was taken care of. I wasn't good enough if I wasn't able to make sure that everyone was happy.

What a ridiculous burden!

For me, it took partnering with a coach and having someone outside me who could help me see my blind spots to figure this out. When those blinders were removed it was like being hit by a bolt of lightning! Everything made so much more sense! I could look back and see the patterns through my past. I had slowly climbed closer and closer to self-love but I was a LONG way from giving myself the love that would transform my life. True self-love is hard! It's messy! There are tears! There is joy! There is freedom! There is transformation! I am forever grateful to my coach and mentor for helping me to remove those blinders. And teaching me how to trust myself, open my natural gifts and abilities. I am absolutely over-flowing! My heart is full! These ripple effects can be felt by everyone around me. When you love yourself, you are able to truly love others. I have been called to take this knowledge, and my newly found gifts, my skills, abilities and life experiences and serve others. Being able to work with women who resonate with my story, and be a mirror for them so that they can set themselves free is the most powerful thing I have ever done. It makes my soul sing! My mentorship is a sacred trust. I hold massive space for my clients as they dig deep and begin to truly heal and love themselves. The results and the impact that this work has on their lives from the first session let me know that I am absolutely where I need to be. It doesn't just transform their lives though... It transforms the lives of everyone they come into contact with. It transforms the lives of their children in a massive way, after all they learn the most from our example. If you read all the way through this, if you resonate with these words... listen to your soul! Give yourself the love to reach out and connect. I only have space available for this deep individualized work for five more women. Follow the link here to book a sample session and we can make sure we are a great fit!

Connection is Everything!

Connection is everything! Every smile, every kind word, every encouragement. Stand in your truth. Be yourself, you are the only person who can be you. The world needs your unique and beautiful light!

Nothing brings me more joy than locking arms with women who desire to live a life of joy, ease, and abundance. Working with them so they know who they are and what that truth is.

You might read those words and think that is more than you can achieve, or maybe even more than you are worthy of..

That was me a year ago.. every day.. I was unhappy and felt horribly guilty for it. I was under a giant weight every day and I felt empty, unfulfilled and lost. It was my reality. I was working so hard and never seemed to have enough, it was a constant struggle. I believed that this was how it was going to be, but I really hoped that there was more! I yearned for it.

I took a step and started reaching out for support. I discovered something amazing! There was sooo much more for me! Abundance, joy, peace, ease.... all of these are a birthright! The only thing that was standing between me and the life of my dreams was me. Investing in myself was the best decision I ever made. It has transformed my life and completely changed my trajectory.

Because of these experiences and everything I have studied and read and explored I am in a unique position to be able to now serve from my overflow. Doing this work LIGHTS ME UP! There is nothing like watching the light bulbs in my clients as they see possibilities where they once saw a brick wall. When they find those lost pieces of themselves and the fallacies they have accepted as truths.

You were born to live a life of excitement, joy, ease, inspiration, purpose, passion, confidence and peace. It is your birthright. You aren't here to carry those huge burdens and struggle through life. You aren't here to feel like you barely made it at the end of your day. Hopelessness is not meant for you.

I work with women to enable them to transform their lives and the way they feel. It's like having a coach and a cheerleader. I will give you the tools, knowledge, and support to be able to make these shifts and drop the beliefs and programming that is holding you back from becoming the you that you want to be.

I believe that our souls know very quickly when something is meant for us, when it is right. You know.. you might not want to admit it.. but you know.

If you read all of this... please take a minute and follow this link to book a complimentary call with me so we can explore what's possible for you. I have a very limited number of spaces currently available for my 1x1 program. After this call, the absolute worst case scenario is that we got to connect. The life of your dreams is one decision away.

Fear

Fear.. we all know what it feels like. It is the anticipation of future pain. It makes us shrink, we pull back from it, we take a defensive posture. We shut down.

I have fear of being judged and rejected.

There is a nasty little voice that tells me that I am really not loveable or relatable. That I am alone. That the real me is horrifying and no one will understand. That being vulnerable and remaining open is stupid and a great way to get really hurt.

But I know better.

Over a lifetime I had crafted a persona that was designed as a shield. I didn't do it consciously but it was very intentional. Every rejection, every wound was a reason to never feel that way again and if I protected myself well enough and built enough defenses (as my ego suggested) I could stay safe.

What my ego (fear based/false self) is incapable of understanding is that in building all of those defenses I separated parts of myself. I tried to become someone that I wasn't for a million reasons. To achieve success, happiness, fulfillment.. by doing the things and being the person that so many people, signals, and society told me I needed to be.

It never felt quite right.. I would do good for a while and then sabotage myself, over, and over, and over, and over. Forcing myself to fit into someone else's mold was never the right choice.

Breaking out of your own shell and living authentically is something your ego will fight tooth and nail! It wants you to stay "safe" and safe equates to nothing changing.

Let's be honest.. you're either growing or you are shrinking. There is no such thing as staying the same. You are either strengthening your fear/false self or you are breaking free.

With each step you take toward loosening your egos grip it is a step toward freedom.

Learning what it means to stand in your truth and to be brave enough to do so is something that comes easier to some, but it is absolutely possible for everyone. It is meant for everyone!

Nothing gives me more joy than to mentor others as they journey and guide them through this process. It has the power to change your whole life. You will discover what sets your soul on fire, you will unlock passion, purpose, calm and ease. You will know what it means to live authentically and to stand in your truth. You will have the courage and strength to do so.

Your biggest, craziest, wildest most unlimited dreams are only outside of your grasp if you aren't reaching for them!

I have limited spaces available for sample sessions you can find the link to schedule in the comments below. If this has sparked anything in you.. please give yourself a chance and let's explore together and see what is possible for you! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

Follow this link and let's connect!

You are the author of your life.

What do you want it to be like?

The place where you are now, is because you chose it.

Does that trigger you?

Does your brain immediately go.. "No! I didn't choose this! All of these people and circumstances and then this and then that... it happened to me. I didn't choose it."

Congratulations! This my friends, is your ego. Avoiding responsibility and keeping you trapped in your old stories on a loop. All in a misguided effort to protect you.

The only thing keeping you from your dream life... is you.

If there is something in your head that is telling you that this isn't true, or that it isn't that simple (because obviously if it was you would have fixed it by now), congratulate yourself! Seriously! Did you hear that? You just caught your ego.

We could compare it to a computer. You have lots and lots of programming. There is programming in your system that you aren't even aware of because it is part of the core system, the background stuff that is just always running but you never use when you turn on the computer. Yet, it still affects everything.

This concept is simple. We are complex.

Every time you exercise this awareness and catch your ego, you are getting stronger. Every single time.

This process isn't always "fun" there is "work" involved.

However....
It doesn't require lots of effort, or working hard. 

It actually works better if you are not straining.
Relax and allow the process to unfold.
Get support.
Trust yourself.
Believe that the Universe does indeed have your back (if you can't do that.. want for it to be true and we can start there)

Your thoughts create your emotions.
Your thoughts are governed by your beliefs.
Your beliefs were mostly absorbed and integrated before you had any understanding, or say so in the matter. 
Most people learn beliefs from their parents and those same parents wouldn't agree with if it were verbalized. I know mine wouldn't.

I believed for a very long time that I wasn't enough. I needed to be someone else, someone worthy. That I needed to achieve and work hard. That I needed to achieve.

I am blessed to have parents who love me unconditionally, their motivation has always only ever been that they love me and want what is best for me. Always, I know this. I am so deeply grateful for this example.

Even with that... and not because they did anything wrong. I didn't believe in my own value.

I am healing this. 
I am reprogramming. 
My whole life has changed since I committed to myself..
I decided to re-write my story. 
I got help. Someone who was a mirror, who never judged me, who held space for me, who gave only love, truth and encouragement. Someone who already knew the way because they had been there.. they had blazed the trail before me.

You can re-write your story too..

What is your absolute dream life like?

You can have it. It wants you.

Are you willing to go within to get it?

I am here to support you in this process. I am here to give you guidance, love, truth, encouragement, practice. I am here to link arms with you, to hold space for you and to water you so that you can bloom into your fullness. Who you really, truly are.

I have 2 sample sessions available next week, there is no charge for these sessions. It would be my honor to connect with you. 

Judgement and What it Teaches

I think that judgement is one of the hardest things to let go of, it is for me. I still catch myself getting unconsciously sucked into this pattern. There's a trick to it.

When we are judging others we feel superior, entitled, intelligent, justified, and what have you. They did it wrong, or are wrong and if you had their choice to make, or if they had just listened, then catastrophe could have been avoided and everything would be perfect.

Too bad it doesn't work that way.

You have no idea what someone else has been through. It is so easy for us to see how someone else is wrong when you are looking at it from a completely different perspective. You probably don't have all the information, and you have no idea what it feels like to be them, even if you think you do. You might be able to imagine, you might be able to sympathize but it is truly impossible to know exactly.

I have made every excuse in the book as to why I have a right to judge. But the truth is, I don't. Neither do you. Does it ever actually bring about solutions? Does it bring good feelings into your life?

If it does I would venture a guess that they are short lived and shallow and that you end up feeling guilty if you are really honest with yourself.

Guilty for the judgement it self.

Then you give yourself a hard time and compound the situation because you are bringing even more negative feelings into your existence.

Why do we do that to ourselves? It's like it's compulsive.

We feel better about ourselves by needing to feel superior.

I remember watching a cartoon as a child where the moral of a skit was to sit next to someone bigger than you if you feel fat, boom, problem solved you feel better about yourself.

But do we really feel better? On any level that isn't superficial and short lived?

I never have from this type of thoughts and behaviors.

What if instead you looked at this person as a brother, or a sister, as they truly are. This person that you are judging came into this world as an innocent screaming little baby just like you did. They have the exact same spark of humanity and light in their eyes that you do. We are all made up of the exact same stuff on a chemical level. They have dreams and desires. When they were a kid they wanted to save the world and loved to play just like you.

What if you had lived their entire life, what if you had been in their shoes the whole time and didn't have the added perspective of the lessons that you have learned in life? What if they weren't raised with the same morals? What if they weren't raised with the same beliefs? What if their core values are completely different? What if something horrible and traumatic happened in their past and they've never told anyone? What if they are afraid to be authentic because judgement is what they really fear? What if they are just hurting? What if they are screaming and crying and lonely inside? What if they feel like no one understands them? What if they feel like no one would love them if they were fully honest about who they were and where they have been? What if they are really broken behind their facade of being perfectly polished?

You would like to believe that you would make different choices.. but if you were them.....

When we judge someone else, we are revealing something about ourselves.

Next time you catch yourself passing judgement, pause, take note and then let it go. Take a minute to look inside yourself in that moment and shine the flash light inward. What unhealed and hurting part of yourself just got triggered by that person?

You might be surprised what you find. You might be too scared to even look.

But I promise you, there is nothing lurking in your dark shadows that puts you beyond the scope of worthiness. You are stardust. You are magic. You are powerful. You are a spark of the divine. A reflection of limitless possibilities and opportunities.

I know first hand how much the ego rises up and rebels against this idea. It will do it's best to convince you that whatever is in the dark is too horrible to ever be brought to the light, but guess what? 

Your ego lies. Your false self doesn't want to be exposed, it doesn't want to loose it's power. That is what you are exposing. When we go through this process, we are empowering our true selves.

You are powerful beyond your imagination!

If you have any questions about this process? Or would like someone to help hold your hand and guide you through please let me know how I can be of assistance. It is my pleasure to serve.